holding it together … so far.

It’s 10:25 pm and I’m sitting in a pitch black hotel room, trying to hold on to our last night in Portland. The girls are cuddled up in bed, and while I know I should get to sleep, I can’t seem to shut it off (my brain, the computer, etc). I have a tendency to be a bit dramatic about these milestone moments in life. Last summer my dad was in the hospital, and prior to his surgery he asked us all to leave the room so that it wouldn’t be an overly emotional or dramatic goodbye as they wheeled him away. I joked that I would be the exact opposite – that I would want everyone around me, so I could have a soap-opera worthy moment of calling out “I LOOOOOVE YOU!” as the nurses pushed me down the hallway. Anyway …

I do tend towards the theatrical when it comes to these big moments, but for some reason I’ve been a bit mechanical about this move. I visited my sister last week at her home in Orange County, and when saying goodbye we both agreed to be somewhat blase and “see ya later” about the whole thing. Otherwise I would have likely needed medical support (or at least an IV drip to replace all of the fluids lost from tears).

My beautiful childhood girlfriends had a slumber party / girls’ night last weekend to celebrate (and mourn!) the big move, and while there were times that I wanted to just bawl my eyeballs out, I held back and stayed strong. It helped that we had dinner at The Melting Pot, and all of that hot cheese was enough to cure any sadness and replace it with wicked heartburn (note for future girls’ nights: hot cheese dip + 6 girls in a hotel room is not the best combination).

My family is here with us now, bunking at the Grand Hotel in Tigard, and enjoying our last few days together before THE BIG MOVE. I stayed in their hotel room as long as possible this evening – until Barry decided it was time for bed.  Had it not been a bit bizarre & awk-ward I might have crawled into bed with them and spent the night.

The inevitable breakdown is coming, I’m sure of it. Being me, it’s pretty unavoidable. But for now I’m going to try to hold it together. That said, if you see a crazy Asian girl at PDX tomorrow, chasing down a Subaru Outback  and calling out “Take me with yoooooou!” just walk on by. Or perhaps stop and offer Wen a hand or a valium or a stiff drink. He’s going to need it.