hello five

 

… my bitty turned five in may. last year on her fourth birthday i explicitly told her that i could handle that number, but anything higher was simply unnacceptable. we did this little “bit” all year where she would hold up 5 fingers and i would pretend to cry … noooooo! not fiiiive! and then it happened. and we celebrated BIG. because as much as it literally and truly breaks my heart that these little chicklets are getting so big, i also absolutely love seeing them grow.

stella jane is a wonder. she brings such joy and light and laughter into our family. i’ve been thinking a lot about laughter lately – they say, it’s the best medicine, and to a degree i really believe that to be true. wen makes me laugh more than anyone or anything in life – sometimes just a look or word from him will be so funny that i am immediately free from whatever fear or doubt or mess i’m carrying in my head or heart. piper and i are wired similarly –  we just naturally carry a bit more anxiety within us. but bitty is different – our bitty is a free spirit. she and wen are so alike – easy to please, light of heart, twinkle-eyed. lately when things get a little tense due to discipline or disagreement or whatever, she has taken to saying, listen, i really don’t want to argue with you. i die every time. literally laugh so hard while squeezing and kissing her cheeks so much that i fear i will smoosh her.

i believe we each have a beautiful and unique role to play – in family, in life, in work, amongst friends. while piper and i will never be the funniest ones in the room, we both carry a sensitivity that creates empathy, understanding, forgiveness. i’m so grateful for my kind-hearted oldest. and stella jane – i can’t imagine us without her amazing imagination, her silliness, her creativity. she is the disco ball of our family – sending little sparks of light into every corner and making us laugh big and play big and find the joy in even the darkest spots.

to celebrate our bitty we surprised her with a breakfast of gummy worms and jelly beans on the actual day (the only acceptable breakfast on one’s birthday!), and then a few days later hosted a cooking party at a local kinder-kuchen (kid’s kitchen). she invited her dearest and they made pizza, decorated cookies and ate puffy pink cupcakes until there was no more room in their tummies, not even for one more sprinkle. it was full of joy and fun and laughter and perfectly fitting for our little joy-fun-laughter bringer. she is FIVE. and i am overwhelmed with gratitude at the wonder of her.